I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
