The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
