Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
