I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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