The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
