Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
