Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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