yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
