I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
