your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
