i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
