so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
