Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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