3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
