Only a mothe r could love this liver
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
