Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
