Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
