I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
