if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
