What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I did not marry a roomba.
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