Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
