just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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