come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
