Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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