Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
