Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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