whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
