I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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