Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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