I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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