Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
