The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
