If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you had me at cake vodka
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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