I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
