What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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