U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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