My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
