Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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