i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
