That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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