I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Be still, my beating vagina.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
