it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As shirtless as possible
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
