I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
