wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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