Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
