giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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