Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
