It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
