we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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