Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize