yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
