So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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