Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
