i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
