Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
