ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize