Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
