Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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