this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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