Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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