I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
