I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
