Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
