Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
