some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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