Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
