i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
