exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize