they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Who died my cat blue again?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
