id be glad to
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
