We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
