What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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