2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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