I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
