Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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