Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so explain again why im purple
no
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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