Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
