i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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